I Quit Candy Crush, and I’m Never Going Back

The night I set my alarm so I’d wake up when my lives refilled, I knew I had a problem. 

Candy Crush Saga icon with a "no" symbol covering it.
Screw you, Candy Crush.

I can usually resist whatever social game zeitgeist is swarming through Facebook. I had no interest in keeping a virtual farm with the help of those people I haven’t spoken to since high school. I got bored with Bejewelled ten years ago. I don’t even like playing multi-player mainstream games, I’m an introverted only kid, I like to play by myself. At first, it was no issue for me to avoid the Crush.

Then, one by one, my entire friends list fell down the candy hole. First it was the former Facebook farmers. Then the meme lovers. Then the entire P-Mag editorial staff and at least half the writers. I had to see what I was missing. (Related: I’ve heard that Breaking Bad is pretty good!) So I gave in, and thought I’d play just a couple of levels.

Fast forward, three weeks later. I’m playing that stupid fucking game every minute I’m not working, sleeping, or doing chores. I’m seeing candy behind my eyelids when I blink. I’m buying a surprising amount of Twizzlers and Dots at the store. I’m avoiding eye contact because I can’t stop thinking about how fucking impossible it is to get past level 33, and I don’t understand why these people around me want to talk about other things.

Recognizing the signs which led to the Angry Birds Incident of  ’10, I knew I had to stop. Cold turkey. I had to ignore the requests, lives, and power-ups my friends list offered up every time I logged on to Facebook. I had to resist the urge to think that just because Hillary had made it three times further than I had into the bowels of Candy Crush, I had to catch up with her. It was hard. But I did it.  And now I feel cleaner, I am stronger, and my breath no longer smells like Twizzlers all the time.

By the way, have you heard of this game called Dots?

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

10 replies on “I Quit Candy Crush, and I’m Never Going Back”

I am completely stuck on 135 and I think I might go cold turkey, too. Candy Crush and SongPop got hold of me in a bad way lately. I find myself turning to stupid games when I’m stressed out about stuff, as a coping mechanism, which then becomes an avoidance mechanism, which then becomes playing games first theng when I wake up and making myself late for work. I’ve been thinking lately that I need to take them all off.

Except Dots. Because… Dots.

Hey, I’m more than four times further! :P I’m ridiculously stuck on level 184. Some levels stay fun even if you have to play them over and over again, but this one is boring the crap out of me so I mostly just haven’t been playing. Once I beat it, though, hopefully the next set of levels will be more entertaining and less needlessly frustrating.

I play while I’m watching – rather, listening to – tv. And I don’t link it to my FB because I hate those requests. So when my lives are out, they’re just out. But I have been late to work because of the game. That’s bad.

I also play Dots. That one is easier to quit, for me.

“…and at least half the writers.” Guilty as charged. I resisted at first, especially since it requires you to ask for tickets get to the next region or whatever. But once I found out how many of my friends were playing and willing to send me stuff, I got back into it. I don’t know why I play it. It just makes me so mad. Isn’t that a sign of addiction? Knowing that something is bad for you, knowing that you’ll only regret it afterwards, then doing it anyway?

Candy Crush, why can’t I quit you?!

My problem is I that I have to get three stars. I can’t allow myself to progress to the next level until I have those three fucking stars!!! Sometimes, all I need is a few hundred points but the stupid fucking game won’t give them to me!!!

I hate that fucking game.

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