“Chicks on the Right” are Wrong

Dear “Chicks on the Right,”

So you want to give conservativism a makeover. Excellent! I love makeovers. Do you KNOW how many episodes of What Not to Wear I’ve watched? Do you know how many teen makeover movies I’ve seen? I have probably viewed She’s All That fifteen times and it is a TERRIBLE movie! I am a sucker for a makeover. So I thought we would be great friends, Chicks.

But then I read your article. And I was like, “As if.” (That’s a quote from another popular makeover movie, called Clueless. It’s based on the Jane Austen novel Emma.)

Your article was insulting, rude, and sociopolitically uninformed. I mean, you called all liberal women “parasites,” who just look for handouts from their Sugar Daddy Government. Also, you insulted my shoes. If you think a woman can’t be a liberal feminist, take care of herself, and wear fantastic shoes, I invite you to my closet to view my shoe collection.

I also invite you to my kitchen table. Because we need to have a talk about why your “brand” of feminism doesn’t work. Let me pour you a glass of wine. This might hurt.

First, let’s just start with the obvious. You want to say you support women? Great! Stop attacking women. Stop with the “These women are not like us. They must be wrong, trashy, and bad.” You want women to get somewhere in this world, stop putting them down. Because women trashing other women has never gotten us anywhere. Rather than insulting women whose tactics you disagree with, how about pointing out which tactics work better.

Second, there is no such thing as “real feminism,” just like there’s no such thing as “real women.” If feminism is the right of everyone to define themselves for themselves, then by making one brand of feminism more “real” than another, you’re taking away that right of self-definition. Which is the exact opposite of feminism. “By not being our type of feminist, you’re not being feminist at all. You’re pathetic.” (You used the word pathetic, not me.)

You insist that those “other” feminists define themselves solely by their lady parts, while you define yourselves by your “character, [your] passions, [your] strengths, [your] abilities and [your] successes.” Guess what? So do I. And so do all of the women I know. The only ones who seem this concerned about other women’s ladybits? You guys. And can we stop with the dancing around? They’re vaginas. And uteruses. And ovaries. It’s time to use grown up words.

Nobody is looking for a “handout.” Do I want my insurance to pay for all my medication? Yes. Should I have to explain why? No. If my doctor prescribes me medication, why should my insurance company, or ANYONE’S insurance company get to decide what they cover based on someone else’s religious or political beliefs? My body, my rules. Nobody expects the government to start handing out contraception. The fact that you believe that’s what everybody is looking for shows that you have absolutely no handle on the social and political issues at hand here. It shows something else though:

You are incredibly privileged, blonde, white ladies. You say that if you hit hard times, you would know how to survive. And that’s great. Everyone should be that self-reliant. But not everyone can. Do you know why?

Because we’re not all incredibly privileged, blonde, white ladies.

And until you see that the struggle of feminism is a struggle for ALL people, regardless of race, color, creed, financial need, gender, or shoe sensibility, you don’t really understand what feminism is.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to put on my low-heeled black loafers with the adorable silver buckle across the toe and get back to work. (By the way, some of us can’t wear stilettos at work. Because we have more to do than sit still and look pretty.)

All my love,

Amandamarieg, a Chick from the MidwestLeft

P.S. I have not yet had the courage to read the posts on your site yet. But I can only assume that when I do, I will feel the need to write to you again in order to stave off impending aneurysm.

By amandamarieg

Amandamarieg is a lawyer who does not work as a lawyer. She once wrote up a plan to take over the world and turned it in as a paper for a college course. She only received an A-, because she forgot that she would need tech geeks to pull off her scheme.

6 replies on ““Chicks on the Right” are Wrong”

I love your takedown style. “Here, sit in my kitchen, let’s chat and have wine!” It’s so Midwestern, in a good way.

Also, ugh. I mean, I can see how women on the right might not want to jump into modern Internet feminism. Modern Internet feminism excludes plenty of people who agree with them, it’s certainly not going to be throwing out the welcome mat for political rivals. And I see how that could breed the snark and bravado we see on their site. At the same time, it doesn’t seem productive to throw up yet another wall for women to hurl shit at each other over.

I’m really interested in how those on the right try to hijack terminology and frame debates in such a way as others are always on the defense rather than offense. Here’s a prime example of that in the making with conservative women conflating demanding basic rights as being reliant on men and this not feminist. I mean, it’s really quite amazing that women who support policies that DEMONSTRABLY undermine the security the well-being of women have constructed an argument that tries to position them as the “real” feminists. Wow.

Also, EW @ their weird, cissexist, transmisogynistic fixation on “lady parts.”

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