New Show Recap

New Show Recap: Bones, Episode 9.06, “The Woman in White”

OH. EM. GEE. It’s Booth and Brennan wedding time, y’all! And MJ Bush and I are double teaming this auspicious occasion. But of course, a corpse (and a minor church fire possibly caused by Brennan’s mother) derail the wedding plans. Ready to ride? Buckle in.

We open up with the wedding rehearsal. Max and Parker don’t arrive until later, so cardboard cutouts stand in their places. The priest (who seems 100% done with all of them) says that isn’t really necessary. Everyone’s phone starts to go off, but no one answers it so eventually the priest’s phone rings (seriously, does no one turn off their ringer in this city?). It’s for Booth, there’s a body. Brennan’s like, “Yeah, I can solve a murder the day before my wedding, no sweat.” As the crew leaves the church, Hodgins and Sweets start wagering on how soon the wedding will be cancelled. Spoiler: Clark and Cam will eventually join this pool.

BONES:  Brennan (Emily Deschanel, second from L) becomes distracted during her wedding rehearsal in the "The Woman in White" episode of BONES airing Monday, Oct. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  Also pictured L-R:  David Boreanaz, Michaela Conlin and guest star David Hornsby.  ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  Patrick McElhenney/FOX
Does no one turn their cell phone off when they enter a church nowadays? ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patrick McElhenney/FOX

MJ: I can’t even with the cardboard cutout of Parker.  Go ahead, Show, laugh at my aggravation because you’ve practically written the kid out of the whole fucking show.  

CRYSTAL: And we get one cursory mention of Christine in this episode, but she’s MIA for the rest. Super long nap, guys. It’s like they can only write acknowledging one child at once. 

MJ: See, this scene is funny because David Hornsby is Emily Deschanel’s real-life husband.  (Actually, I thought that scene was funny, especially because he *is* ED’s hubs.)

CRYSTAL: I had no idea! Aw, that’s adorable. 

MJ: Love the backstage wagering going on over whether or not the wedding will actually happen.  That’s some friendship love going on, right there.

The Case

The case is probably one of the simplest cases they’ve ever had. Hodgins has a date within five minutes thanks to the cicada in the victim’s clothes and a handy driver’s license gives them the victim’s identity. Cam calls Clark in so that Brennan can go do her wedding stuff and Hodgins (rightly so) wonders why the case can’t just wait until Monday. Cam calls in the squinterns to hangout and pretend that they’re working so Brennan will think the case is handled, but Clark decides that he could use their (unpaid) help. Everyone’s worried about Brennan being nervous and Sweets is all over Booth for being nervous.

BONES:  Instead of focusing on her wedding, Brennan (Emily Deschanel, R) becomes distracted by a murder case in the "The Woman in White" episode of BONES airing Monday, Oct. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  Also pictured L-R:  TJ Thyne, Michaela Conlin and Tamara Taylor  ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  Patrick McElhenney/FOX
Squints to the Wedding Rescue! ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patrick McElhenney/FOX

MJ: Hodgins is adorable.  I want one of my own. And Fisher!!  I love Fisher!  

CRYSTAL: Fisher’s grown on me. I think he and Wendell are my favorite squints right now, but we seriously need more lady squints. 

MJ: Apparently stylists make housecalls at the Jeffersonian.  Either that or Brennan is wandering around downtown DC wearing a robe, with her hair in soda can rollers.

MJ: Where is the Nervous-Booth-and-Brennan coming from?  They’ve been together for two years now and have a child.  

CRYSTAL: Yeah, I’m not quite getting that either. Neither has had any major commitment issues, what’s the deal here? 

The victim worked in manuscripts at the Library of Congress and had an empty protective sleeve on her. Annoying new squintern whose name I don’t care to remember (yeah, yeah, it’s Wells) uses Angela’s Magic Computer to discover that it’s a love letter from Emily Dickenson. The prime suspect is Janet McCann, who worked on the fifth floor of the building near where the body was found. The fractures match the body being dragged down five flights of stairs. McCann was a Dickenson scholar whose own work would be discredited if the letter was released. The case doesn’t really go anywhere, though, because McCann had a stroke two years ago and is confined to bed in a nursing home.

Case closed, time for the wedding. None of the squints were invited to the original wedding (Arastoo was going as Cam’s “plus one”), but Brennan says that the work they did on this case was like a wedding present to her. She invites all to the wedding, mostly because Angela suggested it. Brennan backtracks and says that she didn’t invite them originally because she didn’t want to flaunt her love in front of their sad sack, loveless selves. Well, that’s awkward. They’re all in, though (even Wells), but the wedding’s in half an hour so Hodgins outfits them from the third floor historical collections. I feel like that shouldn’t happen, as great a visual as that moment was.

Wedding Time, Y’All!

Booth is the official greeter for the out of town guests in this episode, finding Max (and his dirty bag of possibly dirty money) at the house and picking up Parker from the airport. Parker’s really happy that his dad is marrying “Bones” (MJ: Dammit.  He called her “Bones.”  Now I have to change all my fanfic.  :/) and he says that Rebecca’s glad that Booth’s happy, too. Booth is feeling unsettled and asks Priestender to meet him at the church for a chat. Max shows up (he’s been following his future son-in-law in case he tries to split). Max and Booth have a nice moment where Max says he would be proud to call Booth “son.” Booth suggests they light a candle in memory of Brennan’s mom.

That night, the family gathers together before the rehearsal dinner: Booth, Brennan, Parker, Max, along with Booth’s grandpa Hank and his no longer estranged mother. Very lovely toasts are exchanged but there’s a damper put on the evening when Sweets arrives to tell them to turn on the TV: the church burned down. Ruh-oh.

MJ: Max and Hank together!!!!  I love this episode!!!

CRYSTAL: And I love Parker wanting to hear Max’s stories. They need more quality time together.

MJ: Never mind, I hate this episode.  There’s MamaBooth, the woman who abandoned her vulnerable young sons to their alcoholic child abuser father while she ran away to save herself. What a stupid fucking idea for a character. If I type really hard and repeat Lalalalalalalalalalala really loud for five minutes, hopefully she’ll shut the fuck up. I hate her. I’m also going to hope she gets hit by a bus. Don’t judge me.

CRYSTAL: MJ has some issues with Mama Booth, in case you guys hadn’t noticed.

Well, the wedding’s postponed and it looks like Hodgins won the pool.  Angela tells him she doesn’t want his dirty money and she’s determined to make a wedding happen. Today.

Max comes to see Brennan at work, he’s been blaming himself (Um, why?), but Brennan assures him that Booth thinks it’s her mother’s fault, Ghost Christine burned down the church because of Max’s dirty money. Max reveals that he won the money on one glorious Vegas night and had an epiphany that it was for Tempe’s wedding, so he buried it. Because that’s what bank robbers do with their money. Brennan’s tried calling eight churches but none are available to marry them today, the church was important to Booth, she wants to give him that. Booth is also concerned that Brennan won’t get the wedding she wants. Dude, she didn’t even care about a wedding until, like, five minutes ago. Eventually, they talk to each other (radical concept) and realize that they just want to be married, doesn’t matter where or how. And luckily, Angela’s sneaky plans are ready.

MJ: Seriously. I want a Hodgins of my own. “I have absolute faith in your absolute faith Booth and Brennan should get married today.”  Go Angela!!

MJ: Brennan’s crying!  I can’t handle it when Brennan cries.  

CRYSTAL: Yeah, that killed me a little. But just go talk to each other!

MJ: Well now I’m disappointed we don’t get a wedding with elephant tusks and a squirrel monkey.

BONES:  Max (guest star Ryan O'Neal, R) walks Brennan (Emily Deschanel, L) down the aisle at her wedding in the "The Woman in White" episode of BONES airing Monday, Oct. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  Patrick McElhenney/FOX
Brennan being walked down the aisle, NOT given away. ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patrick McElhenney/FOX

The wedding takes place in the rose gardens of the Jeffersonian. Priestender presides. Brennan reminds everyone that Max walking her down the aisle is not symbolic of a man giving a woman to another man, mmmkay? Booth recounts the first time they were in those gardens. It was early on, and he was trying to get away from her but she chased him down.

MJ: “We don’t have to chase each other anymore, because we caught each other.” Such a beautiful line.

Brennan’s vows focus on the letter she wrote to him when she was buried alive with Hodgins. He confuses her and frustrates her, but because of him she’s started to see the universe differently. Aww. Everyone’s crying and it’s beautiful and lovely.

MJ: Sing it, Cyndi!!  I mean, Avalon.  

CRYSTAL: It was nice to see her again! And hear her lovely voice, even if “At Last” is a little overused.

MJ: I may be grinning stupidly. It’s a wedding. I’m allowed. Oh, she’s beautiful. Just beautiful.  And Max is so proud. Everyone is so happy!!! Love the throwing flower petals over the aisle. And Brennan is still Brennan, with the property remark. Awesome.  

CRYSTAL: Yes! I’m so glad that we still see occasional glimpses of good old Brennan. 

MJ: All in all, this was a lovely episode and a beautiful episode. Well done, Bones.

CRYSTAL: Yes, well done!

BONES:  Brennan (Emily Deschanel, R) and Booth (David Boreanaz, L) at their wedding in the "The Woman in White" episode of BONES airing Monday, Oct. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.  Also pictured background L-R: guest star Ty Panitz, guest star Mather Zickel and Michaela Conlin.  ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co.  Cr:  Patrick McElhenney/FOX
The lovely couple. FINALLY! ©2013 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Patrick McElhenney/FOX

By Crystal Coleman

Florida girl living on the west coast. During the day, I consult in social media and community management. I have a really cute puppy (Elphaba) and a British husband (I keep him for his accent) as well as an unhealthy relationship with parentheses.

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