Pop Culture

The Only Parks and Recreation Character Ranking You Need

In light of the news that Parks and Rec may or may not be on a hiatus depending on who you talk to (Vulture says yes; Dreamboat and my future Husband Adam Scott says it’s not a hiatus), and that Kanye West got engaged to himself over the weekend, and since we all know about my obsession with both of them, I figured what better time to rank Parks characters by Kanye songs.

1. Leslie Knope-  “Stronger”

Not the best Kanye song, but definitely Leslie’s song especially if she is all hyped up on Sweetums. Leslie is super unique and awesome like Kanye.

So how the hell could you front on me?
There’s a thousand you’s, there’s only one of me

2. Ron Swanson- “Amazing”

My bad. Ron Fucking Swanson! This guy rules. He has become one of the main reasons people fell in love with the show. Though I am tired of the Dudebros who only care about him. Or that take his libertarian character seriously. He is a caricature. He and Kanye are both characters. Though Ron is the exact opposite of Kanye.

It’s amazing, I’m the reason
Everybody fired up this evening
I’m exhausted, barely breathing
Holding on to what I believe in

3. Ben Wyatt-  “Homecoming”

Ben has had a sort of homecoming in his new jobs. Pawnee has became his new home and just like the song, Pawnee has become a metaphor for him and Leslie.

And I told her in my heart is where she always be

4. Donna Meagle- “Power”

Donna is the most kick-ass-take-no-names person on the show. Her character I absolutely love. “Power” is such a hard hitting song that I think it fits Donna totally.

I’m living in the 21st century doin’ something mean to it
Do it better then anybody you ever seen do it
Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it
I guess every superhero need his theme music

5. April Ludgate- “Heartless”

How could you be so heartless [echoes 3X]
Oh, how could you be so heartless?

6. Tom Haverford- “Lost in the World”

Tom is someone who would appreciate being even mentioned in the same breath as Ye. Tom has been kind of the lost puppy trying to find his place in the world.

Let’s break out of this fake ass party
Turn this into a classic night
If we die in each other’s arms we still get laid in the afterlife
If we die in each other’s arms we still get laid

7. Andy Dwyer- “Through the Wire”

Andy has had the most growth as a character. His love of April has just really blossomed. He went from throw away slobby ex to hurt living in the pit ex to being the hilarious wooby.

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you, I’d gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever come what may
For a chance at loving you, I’d take it all away
Right down through the wire, even through the fire

8. Chris Traeger- “Paranoid”

Mostly about growing old, getting sick, gaining weight. All the crazy shit.

You worry ’bout the wrong things, the wrong things

9. Anne Perkins- “Love Lockdown”

Anne is kind of boring. Kind of like “Love Lockdown”; though it is catchy. They both have flashes of brilliance. We will see what happens with Chris and Anne, given their past history. I almost marked her with the song “Gone.”

I’m not loving you, the way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
I’m in love with you but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me, all the way home
So you never know, never never know,
Never know enough, ’til it’s over love

10. Jean-Ralphio Saperstein- “Gold Digger”

No lyrics or explanation needed.

Jerry Gergich could not be found on this list. If anyone is sad that I left him off, I would like to meet you because I want to know who likes Jerry! Everyone should watch Parks and Recreation. Best. Show. On. TV.

By Alyson

Queer Pop Culture Junkie in the Northwest. Addicted to Coffee, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Fantasy Sports, The Mountain Goats, and Tottenham Hotspur.

3 replies on “The Only Parks and Recreation Character Ranking You Need”

I like Jerry! Jerry is a good man who loves his family. To him, family is first. He is kind and caring, and he doesn’t hold grudges. It’s true that he doesn’t stand up for himself (which I wish he would), but he’s still so warm and welcoming to the co-workers that berate and abuse him constantly.

Honestly, I think Jerry deserves better friends.

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