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Holiday Gift Guide for Your Favorite Fanatical Feline Fancier

I am so freaking sick of “Crazy Cat Lady.” Can we retire that already and replace it with Fanatical Feline Fancier? And who doesn’t love a little alliteration? 

Because I have two cats, and have been known to take in any random strays and litters that cross my path, people in my life get me cat items. I have three copies of “How to Live With a Neurotic Cat.” It can be hard to get people to understand that just because I have cats, that doesn’t mean I want a bunch of cat stuff. Stationary or cutesy little signs with adorable cat sayings? Not so much my style. If one must buy feline related items, please let me offer these suggestions.

DJ Kitty Bad Ass

cat scratching post shaped like a record turntable
Image via

Okay, our foster kitten would be so fucking cute playing with this thing I can hardly stand to imagine it. This is a cat toy that I can fully get behind.

A Hella Cute Lil’ Shelf

Photo of a metal cat shaped shelf in black with a blue bowl

I purchase way too many little tchotchke shelves. I love them and I use them for everything from toiletries to ribbon. This little shelf is capital-A-Adorbs.

I Will Never Tire of Grumpy Cat. Never.

photo of Grumpy Cat Plush Toy
Image from

There are some who may say the Grumpy Cat meme has been played out, that he is over-exposed and totally done. To those people I say, “Fuck that.” I love Grumpy Cat, I think he is the shit; and even though I despise stuffed animals, I kind of want this in my house. Look at that face!

A Little Harsh, But Hey, Truth Hurts

Black and white baseball tee with a black cat on it that reads "I would let you die to save my cat"
Image from

I spend a substantial amount of time wondering what I would do about my animals in the event of the zombie apocalypse. I have a plan in place. Upon the first sign of trouble and if we are unable to get out of the house and on the road, I  will grab the animals and get them and Nana into the attic until Jon and I are able fend off the hordes of the undead. Since zombies are too dumb to climb, they will all be safe up there. Of course, should Jon and I lose our battle, they will all be hella screwed and all have to start eating each other eventually, but hey, it’s the apocalypse; shitty stuff is going to go down. Long story short (too late!), there are a large quantity of people I would let die to save my little beasts.

Simple, Modern, Feline

Print of a black and white dotted cat with a yellow background
Image from

This print is just cool. Simple, clean, pop of color, perfection. Cat art that is totally displayable.

A Most Important Tote

Photo of black purse with white writing that says I Have Important Cat Stuff To Do and a drawing of a cat
Image from

I love totes. Totes please me. Totes with random nonsense on them are perfection in my eyes. What the hell is “important cat stuff?” What does that even mean?!?! Why do I want it so badly??

The Coolest Cat Around

photo of a young woman wearing a black and white baseball tee with a huge screened picture of a cat wearing sunglasses
image from – seller CottonClick

I would rock this shirt in a heartbeat. Rock it.

OMG Adorable

photo of a young woman with blue hair wearing a purple sweatshirt with a white kitten silkscreened on it
image from – seller FunkyCatsterz

This sweater brings back fond memories of those amazing airbrushed shirts one can have made at county fairs and amusement parks. The sweater is great, but the model is so freaking mesmerizing I probably would have posted this even if I didn’t love it. I kind of want to be her.

A Feline-tastic Retelling

Book cover of Pride and Prejudice and Kitties with a black and white drawing of a woman in a white dress holding a grey cat wearing a hat
Image from

If I am going to be given books about cats, this would at least let me branch out a bit. Plus, who doesn’t love a classic retold with cats? Nobody with any damn sense, that’s for sure.

And Last, but Most Certainly Not Least

book cover titled I Could Pee on This - And Other Poems by Cats with and orange and white cat standing on a desk next to a stack of books and a typewriter
Image from

For those of you familiar with my previous writings, my cat likes to pee and shit on things. Big things, small things, pretty much all the things. Because he is a dick. It would only be fitting to have this on my bookshelf.

To my fellow FFF’s out there, do you have any funny or horrifying cat-themed gift giving stories? Feel free to share in the comments!

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