Not everyone can have a cold. For those of us lucky enough to have one, we still have to deal with haters who are jealous of our cups of steaming tea and piles of tissue. And we all know the fun will some day end and we have to deal with being cold-free again. But for the coughers and sneezers out there, here are 18 things cold-havers will understand.
Is sneezing the best, or what? Your whole body tenses up, which is probably good for your core or something. It can freak out the household pets. And you can pretend you’re introducing yourself as Ahchoo from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. (Easiest cosplay ever!)
But coughing is pretty awesome, too. You can instantly drown out any conversation or TV show. It’s a reminder to practice your kegels. And the sound and consistency can give you valuable info on just how much longer you’ll have the cold.
3. Cough Drops
Mentholated Halls are magically medicinal, and Luden’s Cherry is basically candy. Ricola falls in the middle, but those commercials make those drops seem so fun, like you too can play a giant horn after eating a few.
Tea is great any time, but there’s something special about a steam cup of chamomile with some honey. Nothing really says “sickness” like a box of Celestial Seasonings with a friendly bear on it.
A cold is a time to cut loose, forget about societal standards of beauty, and really revel in wearing sweatpants. So comfy. So grey. Perfect for lounging on the couch, in bed, or running to the store for more tissues.
So soft! And isn’t it magical how the next one automatically pops out of the top? Get a plastic grocery bag for disposing of used ones, and you can always be surrounded by tissues.
7. Cough Syrup
Many of us can’t even think of cherries or grapes without thinking about the chemical taste of cough syrup. So hard going down, but such sweet relief.
8. Soup and Saltines
One can argue just which is best (Campbell’s, the dehydrated stuff, homemade), but no one can argue that one of the best parts of a cold is all of the soup. Add in a few saltines, and that’s heaven.
9. The Price is Right
Everyone loves watching daytime TV when sick, and the Price is Right is the best. That show is still on right? Daytime TV still exists? TV still exists?
9.5 Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Instant, etc.
Well, anyway, a cold is a great time to catch up on crummy television and movies. Nonsensical plots are easier to follow when you drift in and out of consciousness and are high on Robitussin. Having a cold is the one time no one can make fun of your viewing choices.
Naps are always a delight, but they are especially fun when one has a cold. Passed out on the couch, wearing sweatpants, and covered in tissue: post a selfie and all of your friends will be totally jelly.
11. Time Off Work
Sure, lots of job don’t offer sick days or PTO, but still, taking the day off is pretty awesome, right? Even if you’re not sure how you’ll pay for your meds?
12. A Visit to the Doctor
If the cold persists or turns into bronchitis or the flu, you get to visit your friendly doctor! Isn’t it fun to people watch while sitting in the waiting room? Maybe there will even be a fish tank or some old magazines to stare at.
The well-wishes are much appreciated, even as everyone turns away and hopes they, too, do not become sick.
14. Indifferent Pets
Sometimes we are lucky, and our pets gives us extra cuddles. Sometimes our pets (cats) could not care less about our suffering (or they’re just bad at helping). Still, who doesn’t love playing “cough drop wrapper chase”?
15. The Couch
There’s something about the couch that is better than a bed for getting through a cold. Maybe it’s proximity to the TV and kitchen? Sure, laptops and smart phones make it easy these days to watch crummy TV. But the couch really screams “Things are not well!”
While on the couch (wearing sweats), who doesn’t love to cuddle up in afghan? As a type of blanket, “afghan” dates to the 1830s; it’s like wrapping up in a piece of history.
17. Calling Mom or Wishing You Could Call Mom
Moms are the best when it comes to offering sympathy, unless Mom is a toxic person, in which case… For those of us who can call Mom, it’s a chance to get some extra love. For those of us who can’t call Mom (because she’s dead, estranged, etc.), we can have some nostalgia about illnesses past. Win-win!
18. Internet Lists
Not only can you catch up on the internet, but you can read a bunch of lists, too. Huzzah!
3 replies on “18 Things Only People With Colds Will Understand”
You forgot the sexy, sexy rivers of snot.
Sneezing stops being fun after 7 in a row and you wonder what else to catch the snot with because both of your arms – down to your elbow – have already been used.
I apologize for that visual.
Yes! So jealous! :p