Resolving 2014

When I realized I would be writing one of the very first 2014 Persephone Magazine posts, I panicked a little bit, threw up my hands, and ran away from the computer. But it was still December 20, 2013, so that was acceptable. And in my quest for the perfect 2014 post, I realized I have made a big to-do about not having any resolutions for the year 2014.

Most people give up on their resolutions by the third week of January, according to my own totally unscientific poll results that I just made up. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was true. I hate making resolutions because I always feel like I’ve failed by February, and who wants to start the New Year off by feeling like a failure?

So even though I’ve told everyone I have no New Year’s resolutions, I do have several goals in mind for this year in order to better myself as a person. Things that don’t require constant maintenance or have an end goal, so that I can’t actually “fail” at them.

1. Be more intentional in my friendships. I tend to distance myself from relationships that I don’t have to commit to daily. In other words, whenever I move or leave a stage of life, I tend to leave everyone from it behind. I don’t do it on purpose, but friendships are hard. So when I cancel a Skype date, or skip a girls’ weekend for some lame excuse, it’s just me trying to avoid the commitment and hardships that come with long distance friendships. And then I end up feeling bad because I don’t have the solid, defined friendships that other women seem to have. So in 2014, I’m going to keep my appointments and dates with friends and try to nurture the relationships that I’ve left to die like the plants I had on my porch this year.
2. Stop reading the comments. The comments are where internet haters go to rant. And I always feel my blood boil while reading them. As the saying goes, “You can’t fix stupid.” Therefore, I’m not going to let myself feed the trolls anymore, so I won’t read the comments. (Except on my beloved P-Mag, home to the cleverest of people, of course.)
3. Kick ass and take names at work. I finally feel like I have a handle on what my job entails, and even though I don’t always like it, I know I can do it and do it well. Therefore, I resolve to achieve all of the goals on my work evaluations this year, because I can. And because nothing makes a girl feel as good as a raise at Christmas time. (Not even perfectly fitting jeans.)
4. Think before I speak. I have been working on this one for a very long time, and I am the first to admit that my mouth gets me in trouble. I am full of clever quips and witty moments, but I don’t always think about how my words can hurt other people. And while the pain I can cause is always unintentional, that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. So in 2014, I’m going to keep my mouth shut for an extra second while I think about the feelings of others. The triumph at getting the biggest laugh isn’t worth it if it’s at the expense of someone else, however accidentally.
5. Accept my life as it is right now. I have said it before, and I’ll say it again: My life is not what I planned and I’ve learned that no life happens on a schedule. (And if your life is on a schedule, you’re probably not having much fun.) Being an adult is not what I thought it was, and adulting is hard, y’all. But this is my life, and I am going to fight for it as it is, rather than wish it into something it probably wasn’t ever supposed to be.

So bring it on, 2014! I’ll probably screw it all up by my birthday.