Op Ed

Selena’s Shit List

Last week was terrible. 

1. Fuck you, Piers Morgan. For someone whose job it is to talk to people, you’ve got some really shitty social skills.

Cat wearing glasses, text reads "Son, let me tell you why that's bullshit."

2. Fuck you, snow. You were charming around the holidays, but you’ve worn out your welcome.

David Tennant in Fright Night, saying "Fuck Off."

3. Fuck you, Girl Scout cookie boycotters. Stop picking on little girls, lest the big girls start a campaign to donate a lot of money to Planned Parenthood in your name.

Gif from Designing Women, where Julia Sugarbaker says "And that, Margorie, is the night. the lights. went out. in. Georgia. "

4. Fuck you, Kirk Cameron. I don’t hate you because you’re a Christian, I hate you because you’re an asshole and your new movie sounds stupid. (via Pajiba)

Gif of movie Mars Attacks, when one of the alien's heads explodes.

5. Fuck you, Raiders. Pay the women who defy the laws of physics to make you look good what they’re worth. (via Salon)

Gif of Eliza Dusku in Bring it On.

6. Fuck you, Woody Allen.

7. Fuck you, ASPCA, for putting your kitty and puppy snuff commercials on Nickelodeon, you monsters. (via us.)

A disgusted mother cat carries one of her kittens away while giving the camera side-eye.

8. Fuck you, @HistoryInPics, for being really bad at history. (via Slate)

Red from Orange is the New Black saying "Ugh. People."

By [E] Selena MacIntosh*

Selena MacIntosh is the owner and editor of Persephone Magazine. She also fixes it when it breaks. She is fueled by Diet Coke, coffee with a lot of cream in it, and cat hair.

11 replies on “Selena’s Shit List”

Kirk Cameron, you have effectively ruined Growing Pains for me, by virtue of your mere existence. You are an untalented hack who fills me with such rage that I can’t enjoy the Canadian delight that is Alan Thicke and the beginnings of sexy that is early Leo DiCaprio. Please just go live in a Christian bunker with your (probably not at all) perfect family, where you shut yourself off to all culture and pray a lot, so that we no longer have to sit through any of your films.

Thank you.

It’s not on Netflix. Although, searching for David Tennant brings up “LA Without a Map”-“A holiday affair in England mushrooms into a full-blown life crisis for struggling actress Barbara (Vinessa Shaw) when the earnest undertaker (and obituary writer) she met on vacation, Richard (David Tennant), follows her back to Los Angeles. As Barbara tries to explain her rustic suitor to her friends — who’ve only heard about the cute “writer” she met abroad — Richard attempts to cope with the more exotic aspects of Hollywood culture.” (Netflix, 2014), and “St. Trinian’s: Legend of Fritton’s Gold”-“When the troublemaking girls of St. Trinian’s discover that their headmistress Miss Fritton (Rupert Everett) is related to an infamous pirate, they square off against the evil Pomfrey (David Tennant) and his menacing group of woman haters on a hunt for buried treasure.” (Netflix, 2014)

Sadly, neither of them are available for streaming.

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