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Decoding the College Reunion Invitation

Two weeks ago, I received my college reunion invitation. Since I was in the middle of conference planning, I didn’t really have time to process this. However, now that the conference is over, I can begin weeping or rather just aggressively refuse to be nostalgic.

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I am Mike Dexter in this moment. (Via)

Now, I should point out that this is my five-year reunion, so any neurosis about fading youth and rapid aging is highly exaggerated; after all, the majority of the people in my year are still under 30. Also, I’m still very immature and emotionally volatile.

Presented with a lot of unnecessary comments, here is the college reunion invitation decoded.

This special occasion will be a weekend to see old friends [or just hang out with the same people you always hang out with now who were also the only five friends you had throughout college], explore the campus [revisit old napping/drinking locations], eat [and drink], drink [and drink], and be merry [and drunk].

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Moderation is key. (Via)

Activities:

  • The Friday All-Class BBQ followed by fireworks.

This is exactly every school spirit event that happened when you were a student.

  • The Annual Alumnae/i Parade is a highlight (bring something green—our class color) 

This is probably this first time you heard that there was a class color.

  • Round out Saturday evening with a trip to [the seedy on campus club that you only went to when verging on blackout drunk] or the All-Class After-Party tent [aka an opportunity to hookup with an alum a decade your senior].

To help us take this walk down memory lane, please add your favorite photos from your time on campus to the Class of 2009 Flickr group. We will print the best we find and feature them at the Saturday night dinner—the more group shots, the better! [If we can’t find good ones, we’ll do what we did for the yearbook and pull them off Facebook. Next time, be smarter about your privacy settings.]

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(Via)

Ultimately, reunion messages are, “Get amped to really just hang out with your friends and fail to recreate your college years, because you really don’t want to relive your wine and Cheetos binges in the basement of the library while crying over your undergrad thesis. That time you broke your foot was also not great. Also, that time you took on extra classes while stage managing a student musical, working, and doing field work wasn’t fun exactly. But you survived to see this weekend and that’s something.”

By Karishma

Karishma is a twenty-something living in New York City and is trying her hardest to live out every cliche about Millennials. This involves eating her feelings, drowning in debt and mocking infomercials. She likes sociology so much that she has two degrees in it, and is still warding off her parents' questions about a real career.

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