Let’s say, hypothetically, if you live in a state where it’s not illegal to consume marijuana products, you’ve got a little bit extra in your bag, an hour or two with an oven, and a taste for something intoxicating and sweet.
You could smoke a bowl and go buy some Oatmeal Cream Pies, but what fun is that, especially if you can kill two birds with one stoned? Making your own pot brownies will open you up to an entire world of experimentation and delight, which is half the fun of being a pothead anyway. Take the same energy that inspired you to build a water pipe out of a pineapple, three rubber bands, a drill, and a Chia Pet in college and expand your culinary horizons.
First, some basic science.
To cook with weed, you need to break down the chemicals that get you high, the cannabinoids. To do this, you need either an alcohol or lipid-based product. For brownies, we’re going to use a lipid; specifically butter. Vegetable oil is also a good choice, especially if you’re making brownies from a box mix (which you aren’t, you’re no lazy stoner, you’re a stonepreneur).
Before we start the brownies, we’re going to make ourselves a pot full of pot butter. For our recipe, we need 8 oz. (two sticks) of unsalted butter. Deciding how much weed to include is a bit of an art, more than a science, but the general rule I follow is no less than an eighth of an ounce per 8 oz. of butter. The better the weed, the less you need. If you’ve got a bag of everyday, seedy scruff weed, use at least a quarter ounce. If you’re using a bag of something with a proper name, you can use less than an eighth. I prefer to cook with something in the middle, with a decent flavor and a clean high.
Wrap your weed in a bit of cheesecloth tied with cooking twine, or you can use a tea ball, if you have one. Melt the butter first, then drop in your container. Over medium-low heat, slowly bring the butter to a simmer, stirring constantly. Burning the butter is a mishap when you aren’t steeping the good stuff out of your weed, it’s a really expensive fuck up when you are. Don’t burn the butter. All stoves are different, so adjust the heat down if you need to. Let the butter simmer, without coming to a full boil, for at least fifteen minutes. This requires vigilance, so stay on your toes, and keep stirring. Put the pot aside when it’s done, so it can cool a bit. When cooler, squeeze all the butter you can from your weed, and then dispose of it appropriately. Pour the butter through a fine strainer to get all the bits out, and start preparing the brownies.
- 3 eggs
- 1 C. granulated sugar
- 1 C. light brown sugar
- 1 C. cocoa powder
- 1 C. pot butter
- 2 T. vanilla extract
- ¾ C. flour
- Preheat oven to 325° F; grease and flour a 8 inch square pan.
- Whisk eggs until well beaten, then add both granulated and brown sugars, whisk until blended. Add butter, vanilla, flour, and cocoa powder. Stir until well-blended, but do not over mix.
- Pour into prepared pan and bake on center rack of oven for 45 minutes, until brownies pull away from the edges, and a knife or toothpick inserted in the brownies comes out clean.
- Let cool for at least 20 minutes before you eat. Do not operate heavy machinery after you eat. Unless it’s the remote that brings you Netflix.