6 Ways to Procrastinate On Your Writing

This article has been a long time in the making (cue recorded audience laughter). I’m a graduate student in the humanities, therefore I write ALL THE TIME. When I get to write for my own leisure, whether it’s for all you wonderful people or for my blog or for that book of short stories I’ve been trying to tackle for the past few years, I am at my happiest. Writing about things that I want to write about versus writing specific assignments for class, to me is like having ice cream versus having frozen milk… right, it doesn’t make sense.

But no matter if I am excited about the topic I am writing about, I still procrastinate. It could be because I’ve been in school so long so I’m just completely over taking orders, or I’m just lazy and unmotivated. Or it could very well be all of those, who knows. What I do know is that I am pretty damn good at procrastinating.

So here are the ways in which you can be the best procrastinator EVER.

1. Binge watch that entire season of House of Cards on Netflix. Netflix strategically uploads an entire season at a time for your convenience, fellow procrastinators! You have to prepare for a big presentation in a few days? No worries! You’ll do all the necessary preparations in due time — right after you find out what happens in season 2 that nobody will stop talking about.
2. Read that book that’s been sitting on your shelf. You spent a pretty penny on the brand new book, eager to start a collection of hardcover books on your new Ikea bookshelf so you can look more like an adult that spends money on hardcover books. The book is untouched, its pages still crisp. Read the book. Your work will still be there afterwards.
3. Escape into a internet or social media black hole. I find myself trapped in these often. I am in the midst of typing up a new article or working on my thesis, and then I think to myself, “What is Freddie Prinze, Jr. up to now?” I search on imdb.com and check out his recent listing of work or cameos. Then I think to myself, “Wow that Scooby Doo movie he was in was terrible. I wonder how much money it made.” So I look up the wiki page to see how much money the movie made and what controversies may or may not have arose from the movie (because you never know). Then I proceed to look him up on social media — does he have a Twitter account? Is it active? What about Instagram or a Facebook page? It’s safe to say that, you can easily become a stalker when falling into this black hole.
4. Call that friend up that you’ve been lagging on catching up with. They miss you.
5. Call your parents. They miss you, too.
6. Go online shopping. Etsy is your best friend.

If you’ve managed to get to number six on this list, congratulations! You haven’t gotten any of your work done. But now after having achieved everything on this list, you can finally get back to work. NOW WRITE!