Lunchtime Poll

Lunchtime Poll: What NOT to Say in Bed

I’ve been thinking about sex a lot lately — which speaks more to my lack of it more than anything else, really.

A problem, or rather, concern I’ve been having for a while now with my partner is the way in which we do foreplay. Lately, we haven’t been doing much foreplay, which really means that we haven’t been having as much sex as in the recent past. Because c’mon, a girl needs the foreplay to get the mojo goin’, you know what I’m sayin?! So when I’ve expressed these concerns to my partner (because as you already know, communication is key to having any changes happen in that area!), he took these concerns to heart and has tried different strategies. Except that these strategies include dirty talk.

It’s not that I don’t like dirty talking to each other amidst the heat of passion, but wow it really depends on what you’re saying that makes the biggest difference. He often tells me what he thinks of me, which is sweet and endearing don’t get me wrong, but seriously, just get to the point and tell me what you’re going to do to me already! I already know what you think of me, I mean clearly there is an interest between us, now just tell me how you’d like to take me!

What about for all of you? What’s something you don’t like being said during sex? What’s something that your partner(s) does in bed that turns you off completely? We’re anxious to know!

By Luann

Feminist, Pinay, coffee lover, boba aficionado and pop culture enthusiast. Current graduate student in Peace and Conflict Studies. Dwelling in the rainy city of Portland, Oregon but always California dreaming. You can also read more of her articles at

4 replies on “Lunchtime Poll: What NOT to Say in Bed”

After 10 years of coupledom, I just wish my Spousal Unit would remember to actually, you know, talk to me about what he’s wanting. He gets shy all of a sudden, which is ridiculous and irritating both. He doesn’t like to talk dirty, which is fine since most of it is so silly anyhow.

Yes, communication is key to establishing what you both need to feel good. My partner and I are working through making better communication between us, in all aspects of our relationship but definitely in the sex department.

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