Sex On The Micro-Side: Your Questions, Redux

Q. If a solid latex dildo has been lubed or washed with the wrong product, and is now sticky, is there a way to neutralize the deterioration, or should we just get a new one?

A. Oscar Wilde once said, “There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.” He, of course, was referring to that which we greedily keep to ourselves, while we fence-sit, a reflection on how humans are often their own worst enemies. What he was not referring to was a dildo. A now sticky, melting, bacteria-laden dildo. Embrace the power of letting go, my love. Also, check in here for sex toy care 101.

Q. Can you use baby oil for fingering your butt? If not, what could I use to make it slide in easier? Like, is baby oil okay?

A. Technically yes, but sweet pea, I’d rather not live in a word of “technically.” Especially if it means something in your behind. While a cash-strapped dame certainly understands your disposition, I’d recommend spending the extra few dollars on a lube that won’t leave you feeling like the 1979 Butterqueen Bean Queen, deep fried at the beach because she heard baby oil was so good for tanning. If you are looking for a quality lube, may I suggest Boy Butter? Also, a lube tutorial?

Q. I am a very heavy woman and have entered into a sexual relationship with a man that is heavy as well. He also has a smaller penis. We want to have sex so badly, but am finding it hard to find a position that will be best for us. I have a lot of fat in the pubic area and with him having a smaller penis, it’s hard to get him there. Do you know of any advice? Please help a fat girl out!

A. Did you know that the absolute most popular article on this site is Fat Sex: What Everyone Wants To Know But Is Afraid To Ask? Ms. Vagina Science no longer writes for P-Mag, which is a damn shame, but her article gives a pretty great step-by-step guide on what positions work best when there is a little extra in your life.

Also, there’s no need for us to help a fat girl out. You got this, girl. Believe in yourself.

Q. What is the best silicone lube?

A. Subjectivity is a ballpark, baby. There is no golden cup, no ultimate standard, none, nada, zip, zero, of the “best lube.” There’s personal experience, professional preference, and your dollars. Ask for testimony. Get feedback. Practice, practice, practice. By the end of all your experimentation with lubes, you may have amassed a collection of lubes you love and cherish, and those which you want nothing more to do with. I recommend using the no-go lubes to build a slip and slide.

Q. I read your post on female ejaculation, which, by the way, was very informative and accurate (to my knowledge). I am able to ejaculate (a lot) through masturbation, but it’s just liquid coming out. Do you know if there’s a way to make one’s self projectile squirt? My husband would love to see that. Thank you in advance.

A.  “The spectacle is not a collection of images; it is a social relation between people that is mediated by images.” Just kidding, love, though your husband’s dedication to the spectacle is to be commended. As far as squirting goes, you can do anything that you put your mind, and a well-placed, perfectly aimed pair of fingers and genital region to. Push hard and think of Old Faithful.

Q. How does someone who is accomplished at giving themselves orgasms do it with a partner? Like not let their mind wander off and think of all the ways that they can do a better job of giving the orgasm, instead of focusing on what is happening at the moment? How can one enjoy someone else’s technique? 

A. In all seriousness, this is a pretty common issue. One orgasmic moment, you are alone, in bed, rabbit in hand, and Idris Elba in mind, and then the next, you are trying to experience the same damn thing, only, it’s you and another person, and not the rabbit, and not Idris Elba. Sex, when combining a duo, becomes much more than the solo whole of its self-loving parts. Try not to think of this as two people smashed together, rubbing their ugly bits, hoping for an orgasm the way you are used to. Let that go and imagine what it means to come together and find something good in the moment.

Seriously, my love, let it go. It’s not a competition or a contest. It’s you and another, come together, trying to make each other feel good as  one.


Got a ques­tion to ask, sub­ject you’d like us to dis­cuss, or myth you’d like us to bust? Keep ‘em com­ing! You can send us an anony­mous mes­sage via the Ask Us! fea­ture here.

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