News in Europe: Crime and Fucking Punishment

Greetings, citizens! It’s all still sunshine and football where I am, but the news carries on. 

After weeks of discussion, arguing, and throwing toys out of prams, Jean-Claude Juncker has been nominated to become EU Commission president. David Cameron is not happy, but at least he’s succeeded in bringing the UK several steps closer to an EU exit. *slow claps*

In Ukraine, fighting has intensified after the president ended a ceasefire and told his troops to attack Russian separatists. Five journalists have been killed so far.

The bodies of 30 migrants have been discovered in the hold of a fishing boat stopped in the Mediterranean Sea.

Former French president Nicolas Sarkozy has been arrested and placed under formal investigation for trying to thwart an investigation into his 2007 election campaign.

The European Court of human rights has upheld what is known as the “burqa ban” in France.

On the 100th anniversary of the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, which sparked the First World War, Serbs boycotted the official ceremony in Sarajevo. They see the assassin, Gavrilo Princip, as a hero who fought Austro-Hungarian occupation.

In the UK, Australian TV entertainer Rolf Harris has been found guilty of a number of indecent assaults, with more victims now coming forward. His is the latest in a string of cases featuring high-profile media personalities using their fame to get away with sexual violence. For shame.

Ahead of an appeal to Italy’s supreme court, Raffaele Sollecito’s new defence strategy is to distance himself from Amanda Knox.

And now, the shocker of the week. What the fuck and holy shit, Russia has banned swearing in the arts. What a load of bollocks, if you ask me.

See you next week!