Record Machine: Voodoo Doughnut Recording’s “Triple Chocolate Penetration”

A novelty 45 titled after my very favorite doughnut from Portland’s famous Voodoo Doughnut? Why yes, I will impulse-buy that.

Poison Idea - "Triple Chocolate Penetration" Voodoo Doughnut Recordings 45
I snapped this photo right after I bought the record, so immediate was my amusement that singles like this exist in the world.

Performed by the band Poison Idea, “Triple Chocolate Penetration” is a crunchy metal song with vocals that sound like they were run through some exaggerated demon filter. I don’t think we’re meant to take it too seriously, or rather, we’re meant to take it as seriously as we might love a devil’s food cake doughnut covered in chocolate frosting and cocoa puffs.

Which is to say, I find it ridiculous and awesome.

Voodoo Doughnut began their “Doughnut-Record-of-The-Month Club” in February 2014, where listeners can purchase the doughnut-themed singles in their stores or online for $9.99, or they can subscribe for the whole year at $99.99. It’s a fun idea that also gets more ears listening to the bands. Would I have otherwise paid any attention to Poison Idea, especially since I don’t live in Portland? I doubt it. Metal, apart from Danzig, is not my usual neck of the musical woods. I haven’t heard any of the other singles from Voodoo Doughnut Recordings, but they are supposed to vary in genre.

The B-side is called “Hypnotic,” a song I couldn’t find on YouTube, but I do find it funny that Poison Idea has an album called Record Collectors are Pretentious Assholes (why yes, we can be), and in true punk fashion, it’s a 12-song album that’s only 22 minutes long. “Triple Chocolate Penetration,” at almost five minutes alone, must feel like an eternity by comparison.

I love that the single is pressed to chocolate brown vinyl and that the sleeve, of course, is the same pink as the boxes of doughnuts. Each one is numbered — I have 271/1000 — and offers a free download code. The magic is indeed in the hole.

A selection of Voodoo Doughnuts
Godtopus lovingly caresses the maple-bacon, the gay bar (creme-filled, of course), and the vegan triple chocolate penetration from Voodoo Doughnut in Portland, Oregon.

Are there any novelty/comedy singles that you just couldn’t resist? What’s your favorite music-related impulse-buy? Are you like me, and now you really want to eat a doughnut or two? Give a shout in the comments.

By Sara Habein

Sara Habein is the author of Infinite Disposable, a collection of microfiction, and her work has appeared on The Rumpus, Pajiba and Word Riot, among others. Her book reviews and other commentary appear at Glorified Love Letters, and she is the co-manager of Electric City Creative.

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