News in Europe: Germany – inches ahead

Greetings, citizens, from your friendly unicorn watching the news in Germany. I have to say though, they’re much the same depressing heap of hopelessness over here. Let’s get to it.

International investigators have recovered more human remains from the MH17 crash site, although their efforts are still being hampered by fighting in the region.

Meanwhile, Ukrainian forces have taken Slavyansk and are marching on Donetsk, according to press reports. Fighting has once again intensified, with Russia holding military exercises near the Ukrainian border and calling the conflict “a full-blown war” during a UN Security Council meeting. (Note that the link is from Russia Today, which has been widely criticized for keeping quiet about more uncomfortable facts. The US and Ukraine’s response to Churkin’s speech was to remind Russia of its own role in this conflict.)

Also in Russia, a new law for bloggers has come into effect. Bloggers with more than 3,000 readers a day may now be required to register with the authorities and have to publish under their real names. Here’s an interesting article about the madness that is Russian internet policies.

In Munich, Germany, Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone has managed to avoid a sentence for bribery allegations by paying a 100 million dollar settlement. Yes. No. That’s not weird at all.

In the UK, Baroness Warsi, Foreign Office minister and the only Muslim member of the cabinet, has resigned from the government over its “morally indefensible” stance on Israel and Gaza.

In Calais, France, clashes have broken out between migrants, gangs and the police. Charity workers have reported a worrying surge in illegal migrants trying to get into the UK in recent weeks.

Last week marked the centenary of the outbreak of the First World War. Here’s a comment on the “celebrations,” and it looks like I’m not the only one to find such spectacle dubious. Go and read some War Poets or Remarque in silence and think about it for a while, people.

In lesser news, look who’s back in the spotlight! After being stripped of his immunity from legal proceedings after his abdication, ex-King Juan Carlos of Spain might now face some paternity cases.

Italian prosecutors have reopened investigations into the death in 2004 of cyclist Marco Pantani. He was ruled to have died from a cocaine overdose, but his family claim he was murdered. Illegal goings-on in professional cycling? Who would’ve thought.

The Guardian has an interesting article on the burrnesha, Albania’s “sworn virgins.”

And, lastly, we’ve done it again! Germany is the leading power in…penis enlargement. So proud.

See you next week, when I’ll be informed by Polish news stations.