Klepto Kitten

At four months, Fluxx is a pretty typical kitten. She runs around, chases toy mice and lasers, and likes to climb to the highest point in the room. She is fast and fearless. Her sister, Fay, is a bit more shy and a tad smaller, but otherwise a typical kitten: run, chase, sleep, repeat. Except for one difference: Fay is a kleptomaniac.

Fluxx is the one who will run right up to you, but Fay will steal anything and stare at you as she does it. My husband, D.B., chose “Fluxx” because it seemed like a good name for a chaotic, active kitten (and the spelling comes from our favorite game). “Fay” seemed fitting for the smaller, lither, quieter kitten. Plus, alliteratrion. I congratulate myself now on the appropriateness of the name, yet I wonder if perhaps the name is having too much influence.

“Fay” comes from a Middle English word for “fairy,” first used as a name in literature for Morgan le Fay. And fairies, of course, get up to all sorts of mischief.

1. Cat treats

Stealing a bag of kitty treats isn’t too out there. She and Fluxx love them, of course. She found the bag and proudly carried it around; it was nearly as big as she. Then she dropped it and managed to rip a hole in the side. Fay and Fluxx feasted on its carcass.

Ripping open the treat bag never occured to our other cats. Now the treats are kept in a closed drawer.

2. Embroidery hoop

A small hoop was sitting on the table. She grabbed it and jumped down to the floor, trying to drag it with her. I think she was attracted by the metal screws?

3. Chicken McNuggets

D.B. brought home McDonald’s for dinner. Because we’re classy, we ate sitting on the couch, with food on the coffee table. Because I’m extra-classy, my food was actually sitting next to me on the couch. The box of McNuggets was closed, next to my leg. As I ate my french fries first, Fay grabbed the corner of the box and started pulling it away.

There is little I love in this world more than Chicken McNuggets, so I grabbed them back immediately. I did let her lick the french fry salt off my fingers.

4. Corn cob

We eat on the couch for two reaons: One, it’s easier to see the TV (duh), and two, our dining table is covered in stuff. We had a small table for years, and it was covered in stuff. So we upgraded to a larger table, thinking how much easier it would be to play games. Instantly our stuff expanded to fill the space.

The other night, we had some corn with our meal. D.B.’s finished piece sat on his plate, ready to be taken to the trash. Suddenly, little ears, then golden eyes, appeared at the edge of the plate. She grabbed the end of the cob and tried to drag it away, but D.B. grabbed it before the whole plate could be upended.

5. XP

Fay loves video games.

A black kitten sleeps in front of a TV
Fay takes a break from killing d00ds

She stands next to the TV and watches the characters run across the screen. We let her, because it’s so cute. Then she pounces on one of the characters, and we have to yell at her to get down, worried she’ll wreck the screen. Fay, that loot is mine.

6. My heart

Her accomplice: her sister

7. The future?

Fay is four-months-old and about four pounds. What will she steal as she gets older and bigger? The Thanksgiving turkey? The Christmas tree?  Cars? Banks?

By Natasha

History. Hindi cinema. Hugging cats.

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