Holy Hell. This episode. Remember how I said everything was going to get amped up the rest of the season? This episode drank five 4 Locos, did a speedball of coke, and ate some pixie sticks. What all transpired in this episode could have been done over three or four episodes. Instead, everyone gets a story. You get a story. You get a story. You get a story.
First things first, I need to get something out of the way. Fuck Vee! Seriously. Watching her pull all of her manipulative bullshit and getting away with it has been really hard to watch. I cringed when I watched Suzanne go after Poussey like Jet Li in Unleashed. Has there been a sadder heel turn in pop culture history? I love Suzanne and watching her descend into nothing but Vee’s right hand woman attack dog is horrible. Also, the part where Rosa got water dumped on her food by Suzanne just proves that Vee needs to go. Rosa is dying of cancer. Give her some peace.
This season has done nothing but turn my favorite character into a wet blanket. Poussey had so much awesomeness in the first season. Her charisma just oozed through the screen. Now she is getting drunk and getting beat up. She truly loved Taystee like a sister and she is getting destroyed for it. The family dynamics between Vee, Taystee, and Poussey are cringe worthy. The writers know how to kick a viewer right in the gut.
Nikki, oh darling Nikki. I am proud of you, girl. You were going to go back to your bad girlfriend, heroin. Instead, you got talked into realizing that you can change. Giving your heroin to Red was the best decision you have made since stopping your sex contest. Nikki was also instrumental in helping Morello realize that maybe she needs some help.
Morello’s quick story this episode was an interesting turn of events. She got called into the visiting room. She didn’t know who it was until she went in and saw Christopher. She tried to be nice and calm but he Hulked out. He knows she broke into the house and he was none too pleased. He wasn’t very nice about it and yelled a lot. I feel really bad for Morello, and I hope that she does get the help she seems to want.
Red’s story of redemption continues to push through. I do not appreciate that Piper lied to her about her store being open, but I understand why she did. Piper is dead inside and didn’t want to ruin the progress Red has made. Vee, of course, tries to act like she and Red have moved past their bad history. Vee only does this after discovering the tunnel in the greenhouse. Red has been using the manure fertilizer to stash the goods. That explains why everything the guards found when tossing the cells smelled like shit. The guards theorized people were just butt smuggling.
I realize Piper is supposedly the A-storyline in this episode, and I appreciated some of the moments. Alex, welcome back. Watching Piper and Alex’s backstory romance in flashbacks was couched between Alex’s then girlfriend, Sylvie, trying to get between the lovebirds. Add all of that to Piper and Polly talking in the visiting room, and Piper realized that Polly has fucked Larry. Piper’s descent into dead soul is almost complete. Piper tries to get even with Polly in the same way that Sylvie tried to get angry at Piper. The 13-year-old prank: the flaming sack of shit. While I think it is hilarious in theory, in practice, it wasn’t that funny. Polly obviously knew that Piper ordered the shit.
Goodbye, Mendez. As fast as he came back, he was whisked away. Bennett told Caputo that Daya was pregnant and blamed Pornstache because that was always the plan. Unfortunately for lover boy, Daya was none too thrilled they were putting the plan into action. She was called into Fig’s office and basically had to officially say it was rape by Mendez that got her pregnant. Although Fig figured out that Daya got pregnant through consensual sex, she wasn’t quick enough to figure out the actual baby daddy. This of course leads to Caputo being able to fire Mendez.
Healy going to therapy was a train wreck. He might be the most hated man on the show, which means a lot if you aren’t Larry of Pornstache. What annoys me the most is Healy’s belief that he is the savior for everyone. He seems to view that buying his wife from Russia was saving her. He definitely views his new therapy safe space group as saving women, specifically Tucky.
It will be interesting to see where the show goes in the final three episodes. Fig caught the reporter who had been snooping around. I wonder if Piper will get shit for this. Vee obviously is a big concern for everyone else at Lichfield. I hope Poussey can recover her awesomeness. These last few episodes are really going to be one hell of a ride.