It’s hurricane season at Litchfield, and storms are brewing inside and out.
The episode opens with Leanne calling Sister Jane a pussy, and I am so done hearing that word in this show that I don’t even have words for it anymore. I get it, okay? We all get it. Please stop using that as an insult.
Figaroa and Caputo are talking in her office, making plans to stage an anti-rape fundraising concert to cover the damage of Daya’s pregnancy and Mendoza’s arrest for raping her. Fig also gives in and says she’s hired a contractor to fix the B-dorm bathroom sewage problem, but somehow it feels to easy. What does Fig have up her sleeve?
This is a Sister Jane flashback episode — we’ve all been dying to figure out why she’s actually in prison. We find out that she got involved with the anti-war protests during Vietnam, perhaps against the wishes of her superiors.
Poussey is 5000% done with Vee’s manipulation of the other women, and calls her out on it, saying, “I bet the real players laugh in your face.” I ADORE Poussey, and her friendship with Taystee, and I am actually terrified at this point that Vee is going to really mess her up. If they take Poussey from us, I will start a riot.
Alex wants to be added to Piper’s call list — as sick as I am of Piper, I still kind of want to know what happened in Chicago with the trial and Alex getting released. Damn it. I can’t deny it anymore — I love Alex’s character (not as much as some of the others, but she definitely ranks above Piper, Larry, Polly, and most of the guards).
After Red’s discovery that someone sold her out and gave the position of the grate that leads to the outside world, she goes bananas and attacks one of the Golden Girls. She finds out later from Cindy, in the bathroom, that Big Boo was the traitor. Benedict Arnold! Scum! How dare you, Boo?
Things are getting more intense with Soso’s hunger strike, and after much ado, Sister Jane decides to join up, citing the recent case of the so-called “compassionate release” of Jimmy, the old woman with Alzheimer’s/Dementia. We learn that she got into trouble for attending the anti-war rally, implying that her penchant for defying authority began at an early age and perhaps led to her incarceration.
Apparently Larry and Polly are a *thing* now — vomit. They decide to fess up to Polly’s husband, who then fulfils all of our wildest desires and punches Larry square in the face. I didn’t want to have to see this scene, but if it’s going to be forced on me, seeing Larry punched in the face is a decent consolation prize.
Piper finds out that the extra-terrible drug lord Kubra walked, even after Alex’s testimony implicating him. As it turns out, someone mishandled evidence, causing a mistrial. Great. Now Alex is trapped in “QUEENS, UGH,” fearing for her life. It doesn’t seem like Kubra will be merciful.
Back in Healy’s weird guilt group, Safe Place, I’m really excited to see that Flores is out of Psych, which is the last place we saw her, when Pennsatucky was in there last season. Hopefully we see more of her! (Dear Producers: Flores is awesome and you should give her a better part. Signed, Everyone.) Poussey came to talk about how Vee is messing up her life in a big way, but Suzanne shows up as a spy for Vee and prevents Poussey from talking. (Side note: I still hate how Vee is treating Suzanne. HATE.)
Some of the guards show up with fresh pizza (I am so hungry right now) to tempt the inmates that are on the hunger strike. Leanne and Angie cave in, stuffing their faces with hot, melty, cheesy, delicious pizza. Sister Jane, Jones, and Soso dig in their heels on the protest — fight the power! In a flashback, we see Sister Jane breaking into a testing facility and flinging fake blood onto the walls for a photo-op. It seems that even her partners in crime think she’s being a little opportunistic, citing a rivalry with another nun-activist.
Outside in the yard, Janae and Yoga Jones have a heartbreaking confrontation in which Jones tries to rekindle their friendship, and Janae tells her to “Fuck off.” My heart is breaking into a thousand pieces right now. :(
Red and her crew confront Big Boo, ousting her from “the family” and telling her that she’s on her own now. Boo doesn’t seem to care very much, but something tells me that her reckless attitude is going to get her in some serious trouble later this season or possibly next season. Red is done being tossed aside, and I get the feeling that she’s going to make sure Boo is punished one way or another. The Golden Girls seem to be plotting, hatching some kind of murder attempt, but they can’t be serious…can they?
In another flashback to Sister Jane pre-prison, we see that she was excommunicated for narcissism. For those of you not in the know, as a Catholic, being excommunicated is one of the worst things that can happen to you — especially for a nun, whose life effectively revolves around the Church. Ouch. Back in present day, Sister Jane faints from low blood sugar and gives us a witty one-liner: “Old habits die hard!” HA.
In what I suspect is an attempt at getting back at Piper, Fig puts her on a list to be transferred to Virginia — right before Alex was set to come visit. Oops. Could this be the end of Piper’s story line? I hope? Maybe?
The most suspenseful moment of the season so far is when one of the Golden Girls, Tashlitz, is following Vee down a corridor, prepared to shank her. And – she does! SHOCK!
But wait – TWIST-
It’s not Vee.