Popular media would have you believe that Jewish folk have cornered the market on ignoring the religious holidays towards the end of the year. However, my family and many other families took the Christ out of Christmas a long time ago (sorry right-wing pundits!) and celebrate mostly the cultural gift-exchanging and excessive eating.
You’ve probably had a long week (yes, those two and a half work days count as a long week — it’s the end of the year, deal with it).
Here’s what we do in my house, aka a Gif Guide for Christmas:
Sleep until 1 or 2 in the afternoon.
Wake up before noon? Do you have plans? Are you a farmer? WHY DO YOU NEED TO WAKE UP SO EARLY?
Sit/Lay down/Never leave the couch
PJS FOREVER.
Avoid showering
Standing? What next, exercise?
Watch Netflix until your parents’ Smart TV starts to suddenly lose connection to Wifi
WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF 2014?
Raid the kitchen for wine
It’s cheaper than actually paying for alcohol or anything yourself.
Watch as much of A Christmas Story as you can stomach
This is mostly dependent on the number of times your Dad does his Ralphie impression, which is really him just screaming some garbled nonsense and half-throwing his arms in the air.
“Suffer” through a Lifetime or Hallmark movie
Because it’s secretly wonderful and you both hate and love Liz and Dick.
Binge Eat
Like that was even a question.
Sleep forever
I’m sure there are presents and gift exchanging in there somewhere.
At the end of the day, we all deserve some much deserved time off of work and time with friends and families.
Happy Holidays!
