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Ask UfYH: Taking Shortcuts

Q: I am often ill and overexertion makes me worse. When I’m having a bad time, the house gets squalid. Then when I feel better I CAN’T marathon, but slow and steady is slow. Are things like floor wipes and bathroom cleaning wipes really, really awful? A: It’s really easy for someone to say, “Yes, […]

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Ask UfYH: There’s No Right Way to Clean

Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of ineffective ways to clean, but most of them involve whatever you’re cleaning ending up dirtier than when you started. For almost everything, though, there’s no one correct way to clean something, and thinking that there is just leads to a whole lot of nothing getting done.

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Ask UfYH: How Do I Help My Friend With Her Messy House?

Q: My friend’s house is a total wreck. She wants to clean it up, but it’s very daunting and no one else who she lives with will help her. I want to help her clean, but she’s embarrassed about the house and won’t let me inside. Is there anything I could do or say so […]

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Ask UfYH: 5 Things to Clean When You Only Have 5 Minutes

Q: This is probably cheating somehow, but say I only have the energy or the inclination to clean five minutes at a time. And those times aren’t really close together. What can I do that will make the most difference? A: That’s not cheating, my friend. That’s life. We’re busy people who really don’t want […]

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Ask UfYH: Mattresses are Gross

Q: How do I get a pee stain out of a mattress? There isn’t a smell, but there is a stain. Things I have done: put high strength peroxide on it and cleaned it with my mix of hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and Dawn, which de-yellows white shirts but will not de-pee my mattress. Q: How […]

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Ask UfYH: We All Know You’re Talking About Semen

Q:  I got a “love stain” on my favorite comforter. Is there anything that gets these stains out? A: This is P-Mag. We can say “semen.” It’s fine. 

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Ask UfYH: Dishes? Really?

Yup. Dishes. Everyone has ’em, everyone hates dealing with ’em, and they’re the #1 thing that makes your kitchen look gross. So let’s all put on our grown-up pants and deal with our damn dishes.

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Open Thread

This Weekend OT Has a New Puppy!

Because I’m apparently a glutton for punishment and I’ve decided sleep is for suckers, I have a new addition to my family.

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Ask UfYH: Cleaning With a Chronic Illness

Q: I have a chronic illness that leaves me unable to stand for long periods of time (and sometimes even short ones). I get tired very easily, and too much physical exertion can result in an attack that lasts for days and requires me to take some really awful medications. I want a clean house, […]

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Ask UfYH: It’s Clean — Now What? The Importance of the Reset

So you cleared off your dining room table! Or possibly your bedroom floor, or that kitchen counter that seems to breed random crap. It’s nice, right? Gives you a sense of accomplishment to look at? And then, even though you try to stop it, that obnoxious little voice tells you to enjoy this moment, because […]

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Ask UfYH: Seriously, Enough With the Gender Role Crap Already

Q: My husband and I both work full-time and we have two kids (5 and 8). Our schedules are basically the same, and the kids are in school or at my mother-in-law’s house while we’re at work. When we’re home, though, the bulk of dealing with the kids, and ALL of the cooking and cleaning […]

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Ask UfYH: Easy Ways to Fake a Clean House

So maybe you haven’t been keeping up on your housekeeping routine as much as you’d like. Which is all well and good, but you just found out you’re having company in a few hours. There may not be time to do a top-to-bottom emergency unfucking, but you can fake a clean house with just a […]

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Ask UfYH: Bathroom Cleaning 101

Q: So this is embarrassing. I never learned how to clean a bathroom. It seems like it should be common sense, but now that I’m living on my own, I’m not exactly sure I’m doing it right. Help? A: It’s not embarrassing; you just never learned it. And it’s never too late to learn. Let’s break […]

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Ask UfYH: The UfYH Guide to Motivation

Cleaning sucks. Anyone who says otherwise is probably selling something, and that something is most likely cleaning-related. So it’s no surprise that most people have some trouble getting motivated to clean. Here’s some help.

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Ask UfYH: Sometimes You Have to Do Shit You Don’t Want to Do

Excuses may be boring, people, but I hear them all the time. And while we’ve talked a little bit about excuses vs. reasons, I do have to say that the most obnoxious excuse is also the most frequent: “I have things I’d rather do besides clean.” Real talk: sometimes you have to do shit you […]