Categories
Parenting

Their Favorite Mom

The other day my daughter shared some letters she had written to each member of her family, including one to her birth mother, who is dead, and one to me. The letter to me was heartfelt and said how much she loved me. The letter to her birth mother, which she wanted me to read, […]

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Perspectives

Why I Can’t Recommend Adopting Internationally

I adopted my two children from Ethiopia four years ago. Since then, I have developed a network of friends who have adopted internationally, and they have been invaluable as resources and sounding boards.

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News

PoC News in America

The Superbowl has come and gone, but the hilarity of Key & Peele’s Richard Sherman & Marshawn Lynch interview sketch lives on forever.

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Parenting

Identifying the Most Dangerous International Adopters

Recently, I came across a GoFundMe for a middle-class family of six that was adopting five siblings from an emerging nation. Their friends and members of their church had set up the fund to help them, and the writeup was gushing about how selfless and wonderful the family was to do that. It was an […]

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Dispatches from Ladyblogland

Dispatches from Ladyblogland

So much to read!

Categories
Parenting

Three Years In

I am fortunate to have pictures of my children when they were first taken from their family, before we came together through adoption. They are not easy to look at. My son is little more than a baby. He is tiny for his age, but the expression on his face is not childish. He is […]

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Perspectives

Advice for Women Who Want to Contact Children They Gave Up for Adoption

This is not a “how to do it” article. There are literally hundreds of resources online that tell people how to begin the process of finding a child who was placed for adoption. This is a “how to think about it” article, because trust me when I say that you need to have thought about […]

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Pets

Pupdate: March 1, 2014 – ADOPTION EDITION!

Asher is living it up at his new mom’s house, and he’s won the forever home lottery.

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Perspectives

The Towering Infertile: On “Just Adopt!”

Just as surely as Tuesday follows Monday, any time infertility is mentioned in an article on the Internet, a “why don’t people just adopt? JEEZ.” comment (or a dozen such comments) will appear.

Categories
Humor

10-Second Anecdotes That Reveal Too Much About Me

Quick! Here’s a few speedy stories to help you get to know me.

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Perspectives

How I Met My Daughter

I gave up my daughter for adoption more than a quarter century ago, when I was a teenager. It was a closed adoption; I was not supposed to know the name of her adopters. If I wanted to learn how she was doing, I was to contact my lawyer, who would contact her family’s. Fortunately, […]

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Perspectives

Out of the Corner of My Eye: What Having a Daughter of a Different Race Has Taught Me About Racism

Sometimes I am aware of racism directed at my daughter. There are small things that I think I pick up on, all from well-intentioned people. One time someone asked me if she and her brother were my foster children. Sometimes people ask which state programs they are on. Occasionally there is something overt, like when […]

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Pets

Dr. Frank L. Cat, M.D.

A kitten showed up in our backyard last week. My husband found him sticking his nose into our cat enclosure, attempting to see if my old fat cats would be interested in allowing him in to eat their food.

Categories
Parenting

So, You Have a Question About My Choice of International Adoption

I tend to be pretty polite when people ask me about international adoption. I assume that people are eager to learn, and I’m flattered that they are interested in my children and choices. However, there are some questions that I know are just plain lazy, or ignorantly combative.

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Perspectives

So You Are Considering International Adoption: What You Should Know

Several years ago, my husband and I adopted two children from an African country. I am a researcher by trade, so I did my best to figure out what would be needed (in addition to the financial part). I took parenting courses. I learned how to deal with a transracial family (before anyone freaks out, […]