The Thanksgiving holiday in the US meant that This Week in Misogyny took last week off. Misogyny, however, didn’t do me a favor and kept right on rolling. It’s a world of fun below the cut! (As usual, trigger warnings for just about everything apply.)
For those of you prone to overanalyzing relationships, I’ve put together a couple of quick tips for not over-thinking romantic entanglements. I hope you can benefit from this personal roadmap on how to avoid this serious dating blunder.
Dear Selena, I’m a lady on the verge of adulthood, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Can you and TV help me decide? Sincerely, Confused
“Dear Selena, I have invited my boyfriend’s parents over for Christmas dinner, but I’ve never really prepared a big fancy dinner before. Can television help me show them a night they’ll never forget? Signed, Culinary Neophyte”
I caught my husband frequenting an online stripper website. I’m not as upset about this as society tells me I should be, so I feel like I should be more upset. What should I do, Deus ex MacIntosh?
We’re back for another round of Deus ex MacIntosh, where I solve your problems with the help of TV. Like always, this column is for yuks, not for helping anyone make serious decisions.
Dear Selena, How can TV help me win an Internet argument? Signed, Loaded for Bear, Needs Outlet
We’re back for another session of Deus ex MacIntosh, where we find all life’s answers in TV. Or at least have fun looking at old clips. As always, my advice is for entertainment purposes only. If you follow any of my advice it is at your own risk, and may require photographic evidence.
There are few things I hate being told more than, “Don’t take [insert topic of conversation here] for granted!” It’s a stupid, short-sighted, mental health-destroying piece of advice and if I could set it on fire, I would. I would burn it in effigy and dance in my underpants.