I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along and then vampires come and they run around and they kill people and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini-pizzas and everyone’s like, “Oh, look! A mini-pizza!” but I’m telling you, I have…
“The signs?! Read me the signs! Tell me my fortune! You’re so useful sitting here with all of your books! You’re really a lot of help!”
“That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she’s trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain […]
“You still don’t understand, do you? I am free because you fear it. Because you fear it, the world is crumbling. You nightmares are made flesh.”
“My predecessor, Mr. Flutie, may have gone in for that touchy- feely relating nonsense, but he was eaten. You’re in my world now. And Sunnydale has touched and felt for the last time.”
“So, you’ve been seeing a guy, but you don’t know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I’m good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?”
“For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.”