Greetings, citizens, and welcome to another week of sheer misery. I haven’t even got an animal-related story for you. Booo.
Citizens, let’s not worry about Ukraine until the third paragraph this week! Unfortunately, the higher-ranking news items are not cheerful at all. Let’s have them anyway.
We’ve all been guilty of it — the inside-out logic of deliberate self-delusion, to try to convince ourselves of something we really wish were true, such as:
Welcome to the midweek news. Do you care? Would you rather watch Say Yes to the Dress? Well, sit a spell and see what’s up. You’ll soon be back watching spoiled children choose dresses that equal the cost of a down payment on a house.
Read the news at your own risk. Then look at kittens follow for cuddly recovery.
My news, my all-consuming news, is that I’m going back to school. But there is so much more going on in the world that I’m poking my head out of the whirl of orientation and figuring out where to get my student ID.
The world is a terrible place. That’s why Shark Week exists. To remind us that there are awesome things out in the world. But let’s look at the not-so-awesome stuff first.
The World Health Organization approved a nonsurgical circumcision device for adult males, which involves a rubber band. The New York Times explains that “For a heterosexual man in countries where AIDS is common, being circumcised lowers the chance of getting infected by about 60 percent.” For more about circumcision and HIV risk, click here.
This week’s news appetizers from Asia:
Recently, a colleague in the teaching profession updated her Facebook status to say that her check was less this month due to increased taxes. Morale in the teaching profession is already low. Having a check be even smaller is just popping the blister on a burn. I’ve spent the last five years bringing home, at […]
Of all the news this week, I was most excited to learn that Joe Biden shops at Costco. Seriously, the man looks like he is just enjoying the hell out of life.
They might not rhyme this week, but they sure will give you your weekly dose of feeling like getting in the car and driving as far as you can to write poetry, because really, having a job isn’t making you much more money anyway.
Let’s soften the blow of everything wrong in the world with a few rhymes.
The news is bad, but at least there may be a giant pancake breakfast in the works.
MALTA ““ (BBC) Former Maltese Prime Minister Dom Mintoff, who played a dominant role in the island’s politics for decades before and after its independence from the UK, has died at age 96. He was leader of the center-left Labour Party from 1949 to 1984 and was PM twice, including from 1971 to 1984.