I’m nervous, I texted my best friend two days before the debut of my new act. This one’s really close to my heart. In my new act, I play a murderer.
A month ago on a Tuesday morning, I was sitting in an office. Last Tuesday morning, I was lying on my back totally naked while strangers painted me.
“I’m just not used to wearing pants!” So said I backstage at a performance of Boobs on Endor: A Return of the Jedi Burlesque (otherwise known as, You Can’t Make This Shit Up). That night I was Han Solo, who in our show is played by a broad in a bra. And really tight, ass-flattering pants that I was […]
Quick changes: as burlesque performers, we all have them. At some point, during some show, you’re going to have to scramble out of tight elaborately-constructed garments and sparkly underthings, into other tight elaborately-constructed garments and sparkly underthings. While sweating. The trick is not avoiding the quick changes (because that’s impossible), but how you deal with […]
MEMO July 31, 2014 TO: All past, present and future burlesque show audience members FROM: Your Friendly Neighborhood Glitterbomb RE: Burlesque shows Hi there! First of all, I can speak for my fellow dancers, as well as our producers and our venue staff, when I say: we are glad you are here/have been here/are thinking of visiting! […]
The following is like a Christmas letter, only with boobs.
It started when I was 15 or 16: a perpetual discomfort at having my photo taken. No, I’m not some kind of international spy or superhero. I wish.
In the moments after, I swore that I was an ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE PERFORMER and I WAS NEVER DOING THIS NUMBER AGAIN.
Let the record show that ladies who take their clothes off are not bad people.
Insecurity, I hate you and I hate your ass face.
On the twelfth day of Hot Christmas, my producer gave to me…
I’m not one for the daily Facebook posts of gratitude. Nothing wrong with it, they’re just not my deal. But as I reflect on my holiday solo debut last Friday, prepare for an audition tomorrow (suddenly, I’m someone who goes to auditions again!) and get ready to put on my civilian clothes and head to […]
Gather ’round, while I explain the art of being a stage kitten.
My first real burlesque solo: three years in the making.
TW: talk of size and weight (no numbers) “I hope no one thinks, ‘Why’d they let the big girl in?’”