Last night, the world crowned the all-starriest designer to ever Project Runway All Stars. Well, except for the last all-starriest designer. Or the one before that. But it was still very exciting.
It has been weeks, Persephoneers, weeks since I mocked anyone from the teevee. Well, mocked them on the Internet. About sewing. Did you don neoprene or put some half-ass cutouts in a tee shirt because you missed Project Runway All Stars? Personally, I’m wearing Mondo as a cape right now.
On this week’s episode of Project Runway All Stars, the designers were whisked away to an exotic locale to design! They flew to Pennsylvania to see the studios of QVC. (For the purposes of this post, you should lower your expectations of the word “exotic.”)
I hope you had a happy turkey day, Persephoneers! Did you miss Project Runway All Stars? Did you swaddle yourself in an old bed sheet, some coffee grounds, shoes from the QVC (TM) Accessory (TM) Wall (TM), and a sense of unearned entitlement to remind you of the good old episodes? I know I did. […]
Sigh. Tacky Jeffrey is still with us on Project Runway All Stars, kittens. I look forward to this week’s tasteless offering from him, as well as his bullshit explanation of why we should all take his wretched artistic expressions seriously. Jeez — it’s like junior college art class all over again, except the stank of patchouli […]
What glamorous doings were our Project Runway All Stars up to this time, Persephoneers? Why, riding the school bus! I think that must mean our challenge for this week involves making a gown out of smelly teenage jock straps, or perhaps band instruments abandoned after the away game. Fingers crossed for both!
Booze. Finally, this week, the designers were given a theme I could really get behind. Other acceptable Project Runway All Stars themes? Unicorns; donuts; James McAvoy; Xena, Warrior Princess; and lipstick.
Have you recovered from Ari going home last week on Project Runway All Stars instead of the sad raffia Muppet that Daniel made? Me neither. His mustache had better be extra glossy tonight, or else I’m going to be mean. Meaner than usual. Yes, you’ll be able to tell! Grumble mutter grumble grumble.
In a world. On a TV. Sent through the airwaves. Via electromagnetic…thingies…of some kind… What? I’m a budget recapper, not an engineer. Sent via magic to your TV, it’s Project Runway All Stars! Yes, PRAS, where all the clothing is made up and the good intentions don’t matter. Get ready for some ugly crap concocted […]
We’ve made it to the finale, and our three dedicated designers all brought the very best of what they do.
Fashion hoors, internet denizens, and/or people with nothing better to do on Thursday nights – this is it. The grand finale for Project Runway All Stars. If we encounter another Gretchen (cursed be her name) brown diaper situation, I fully encourage nasty limericks to be written about the winner who doesn’t deserve it. If you’re not […]
And so it comes to this. It’s part one of the finale, featuring the caftan, the kitsch, and (he who better motherf*&^ing be) the winner. I refer, of course, to Michael, Austin, and Mondo. They are the all-starriest designers on Project Runway All Stars as decided by a bunch of talentless suits at Lifetime and […]
Kenley: I wonder what we’re going to be doing today? Mondo: Probably designing something. Yes, friends, there are only four designers left on Project Runway All Stars, and Kenley, Girl Genius, is one of them. If you had told me Kenley and Michael would still be here at this point, I would have shoved you […]
Last night on Project Runway All Stars, Not-Heidi finally revealed her talent (besides being tall, White, and “blonde”). She is a woman of such spectacular ability that she can make clothes illuminate from within from the power of her magic model cooch! No wonder Wall Street guys will only date the ladies of the catwalk. […]
We’re letting our fashion flags freak flappily this week, friends, for Project Runway All Stars is going to the United Nations! As Not-Heidi droned woodenly: “…the United Nations brings together governments from around the world to find lasting solutions to some of our toughest challenges, such as climate change, human rights, peace, and security. And […]