Last night, the world crowned the all-starriest designer to ever Project Runway All Stars. Well, except for the last all-starriest designer. Or the one before that. But it was still very exciting.
It has been weeks, Persephoneers, weeks since I mocked anyone from the teevee. Well, mocked them on the Internet. About sewing. Did you don neoprene or put some half-ass cutouts in a tee shirt because you missed Project Runway All Stars? Personally, I’m wearing Mondo as a cape right now.
On this week’s episode of Project Runway All Stars, the designers were whisked away to an exotic locale to design! They flew to Pennsylvania to see the studios of QVC. (For the purposes of this post, you should lower your expectations of the word “exotic.”)
Sigh. Tacky Jeffrey is still with us on Project Runway All Stars, kittens. I look forward to this week’s tasteless offering from him, as well as his bullshit explanation of why we should all take his wretched artistic expressions seriously. Jeez — it’s like junior college art class all over again, except the stank of patchouli […]
What glamorous doings were our Project Runway All Stars up to this time, Persephoneers? Why, riding the school bus! I think that must mean our challenge for this week involves making a gown out of smelly teenage jock straps, or perhaps band instruments abandoned after the away game. Fingers crossed for both!
Booze. Finally, this week, the designers were given a theme I could really get behind. Other acceptable Project Runway All Stars themes? Unicorns; donuts; James McAvoy; Xena, Warrior Princess; and lipstick.
Have you recovered from Ari going home last week on Project Runway All Stars instead of the sad raffia Muppet that Daniel made? Me neither. His mustache had better be extra glossy tonight, or else I’m going to be mean. Meaner than usual. Yes, you’ll be able to tell! Grumble mutter grumble grumble.
Acne. Blackheads. Scarring. Dark spots. Oily T-Zone. After years of shame, I had to finally admit it: I had bad skin.