I hope you have coffee, Persephoneers. After the snooze-worthy clothes of last week, we might need a caffeine pump to get through Fashion Week with Project Runway. I hope you enjoy the color black and/or whatever Fabio has made, which appears to be what happens when a time-traveling patchouli truck crashes into a Mormon sister-wife […]
Have you recovered from all the wild ‘n’ wacky avant-garde (which means “a lovely suit to wear as FLOTUS” in French) fashion from last week? Has your heart stopped racing? Try to calm down and join me in a world of pure imagination. And by “pure imagination,” no, I don’t mean the VP debate. Hey-oooo! […]
A big, sloppy, humpy thank you to SaraB who covered the show last week for me! No more giant shoulders from Elena, I guess. She was interesting, I’ll give her that. Scary, but interesting. I like a scary lady – we need more of them for to terrify the populace with their periods and whatnot. […]
I know we are all sadface, Persephoneers, that Shitgobbler Ven was not eliminated on last week’s Project Runway for making a horrendous dress out of his cultural heritage, which apparently consists of maxi pads and no imagination. Let us all join hands over the pentagram drawn in L’Oreal lipstick and pray to almighty Fashion Satan […]
“I wanna buy my mom a boob job.” This, Persephoneers, is why Not-So-Terrible Gunnar wants to win Project Runway. I almost want him to – just for that. But also not, because while he is not so terrible now, he is still a little terrible and has cartoon villain hair, yet is little more than […]
Yeah, yeah, yeah – last week on Project Runway it was all hearts and flowers, what with no one getting booted off the show. This week, Persephoneers, I expect to see some broken hearts and crushed dreams! Why else do we tune in to reality tee vee? To learn? Pish! I want some insults and […]
I have barely recovered from the last episode of Project Runway, blog friends, in which Shitgobbler Ven made my head hurt with his assholishness and terrible design. What new shitgobbling will Shitgobbler do for us this week, in his performance art piece entitled I Spew the Shit I’ve Eaten, and Also Fold Fabric Into Flowers?
It was a dark and stormy runway. The designers gathered under the rattling stage lights to await a directive from Sgt. Klum as to their next mission. The wind howled an evil portent of evilness. The weary designers huddled under their carefully-touseled hair. Would they have to create bustiers for Bigfoot? Stirrup pants for disgusting, […]
Right at the top of the episode, we found out why Kooan ran away from Project Runway last episode–he was Terrible Gunar’s roommate. I don’t know how Kooan lasted as long as he did. I bet even the furniture in that sad dormitory is trying to figure out a way to shimmy itself away from […]
Remember last week, Persephoneers, when we were left with a dangling participle, er, a cliffhanger on Project Runway?! In case you don’t recall, this is what happened. Terrible Gunnar was the worst and worsted all over Tim, who promptly slapped him and sent him to Designer Tim Out, a new thing this season. (Not Time […]
It’s the Lexus challenge this week on Project Runway! Sponsored by Lexus, which has a lot to do with fashion because of reasons. The designers would make a red carpet look for a very speshul event – the Emmys! The Lexus part of the Lexus challenge is that whichever Lexus color the designer was assigned […]
“This is no time for child’s play,” Actual-Heidi said to the designers about their participation on Project Runway at the beginning of this, our second episode in the season of our Lord numbering ten. Pretty adult words from a lady who was partly responsible for the giant brown diaper winning a few seasons ago. But […]
PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY PROJECT RUNWAY! FYI, I’m excited about Project Runway, as I have just expressed in my own, subtle way. Tim Gunn is back! Actual-Heidi is back! And without starting the episode yet I can tell you that grandiose, overblown self-assessments by questionable talents are […]
And then there were six. As Laura put it in her inimitable way, “It’s every man and woman to herselves. Himselves. Herselves. Well, whatever.” I could have said it better myselves, yourselves, myselves — but her way is so funny, I won’t bother. Who will be in the final three? It’s not such a mystery. […]
Persephoneers, I would like you to guess what sort of challenge was featured on Project Runway this week. If you guessed “team,” then give yourself a deep glass of something alcoholic, because you’re right and we all lose! You can see the poor contestants begin to convulse when the “T” word is uttered. They shudder […]