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Recap: True Blood, Episode 4.12, “And When I Die”

“I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name. F**k Sookie!” It’s the end to another season of True Blood. I know that you, dear readers, have many important feelings about the gory finale, just as I do, so let’s share them over this recap.

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Recap: True Blood, Episode 4.11, “Soul of Fire”

F**king Sookie!

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Recap: True Blood, Episode 4.10, “Burning Down the House”

“If she would have goddamn let her parakeet rest in peace, then Eric Northman and Bill Compton wouldn’t be marching on Moon Goddess to blow up my fu**ing cousin.”

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True Blood Recap: S4, E8 ““ “Spellbound”

“Sorry man, I stopped listening about half way through.” You and me both, Jason. You and me both. We are halfway through what should have been the best season of True Blood so far ““ the witch war and Sookie/Eric should have been plenty to propel the storyline ““ and I’m about ready to stop […]

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True Blood Recap: S4, E7 ““ “Cold Grey Light of Dawn”

Since when has any fanatic been held back by the improbability of their righteous mission?

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True Blood Recap: S4, E6 ““ “I Wish I Was The Moon”

Eric, snap the f*ck out of it! You have no loyalty to Bill Compton. You are a Viking vampire and god and you bow to no one! If someone crosses you, you rip out their liver with one fang!  

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True Blood Recap: Season 4, Episode 5 ““ “Me and the Devil”

You are incapable of love. You are damned. You cannot be saved. You are a creature of death, and the living are only good for one thing, and it is not love.

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True Blood Recap: Season 4, Episode 3 ““ “If You Love Me, Why Am I Dying?”

Witches? Oh, great, now I have to deal with witches?! No! Not my problem!

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True Blood Recap: Season 4, Episode 2 ““ “You Smell Like Dinner”

There are two Sookie Stackhouses. One who still clings to the idea that she’s merely human, and the other who’s coming to grips with the fact that you are better than that.

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True Blood Recap: Season 4, Episode 1 ““ “She’s Not There”

But understand this. Everyone who claims to love you: your friends, your brother, even Bill Compton, they all gave up on you but I. Never. Did.